Grounded

My parents never really punished me as a child - I guess I was just that good. (halo *wink*) But I'm here to announce that @ age 23 after one very special Sunday night in Los Angeles I can officially say that I've been "Grounded."

I've always been interested in being a performer for as long as I can remember. I still have the pictures of the time I donned two braided pigtails and drew freckles on my cheeks and sang "You Get A Line" (a song about fishing in a crawfish hole ) for the 2nd grade parents at a PTA meeting. (ps - only in Louisiana would this even happen)

I was an unstoppable showbiz phenom even then.

What followed were many years on the stage, a place where I felt very comfortable. From OLIVER TWIST to Shakespeare's A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM I jumped at any and every chance I had to be in front front of an audience. In high school I had to quit our community theatre so that I could devote more time to competitive acting. I traveled from school to school competing in tournaments in the events of humorous interpretation and duet acting. These victories were more personal, as most of the time I was performing for 10 minutes all on my own for a panel of judges. What a rush. In college performing took a little bit of a back seat to my major in Radio-TV-Film production due to the long hours I would have to spend in the studio or editing bay. I did, however, still find time to act and was glad to complete a minor in Theatre when it was all said and done. Cut to present day - Living in Los Angeles and working in Television. Sounds right up my alley, right? I've definitely learned a lot here, but I think the thing I've learned the most is that I don't want to be here anymore. And that's what brings me to Sunday night - the night that it became more evident to me than ever that I have to get out from behind this desk.

Here's what went down...

Two friends and I went to see a GROUNDLINGS show at their theatre on Melrose. Now, for those of you who aren't familiar with what the Groundlings are (or what a groundling is) I will kindly provide you with two different definitions:

A GROUNDLING (noun):
1) a poor person in Shakespeare's time who would pay one penny (which was nearly an entire day's wage) to stand in the area in front of the stage (aka "the pit") to watch the plays
2) a wickedly awesome improv comedy troupe that has bred some of the finest showmen (and showladies) of our time, including Will Ferrell, Phil Hartman, Lisa Kudrow, and Conan O'Brian (just to name a few)

I am, of course, referring to the latter of the two defs.

I sat there watching the show on Sunday and I was both inspired and a bit saddened. Okay, maybe not "saddened" but definitely jealous. Jealousy's a sin, I know I know. But it was the good kind of jealousy (spoken like a true crackhead...but crack's good for you, mom). Really. I was jealous of the smiles that they were putting on people's faces. As the show went on, I wanted so badly to be up there with them - creating characters, using wit, and evoking laughter. I think that's one of my most favorite things to do in the entire world - make people laugh. I just can't get enough! Now before you go and judge me on my "sense of humor" (reading this blog and thinking to yourself "her blog's not that funny...i bet she's not that funny either) just SHUT IT. I never said that I was a comic genius with impeccable timing and an unending wealth of jokery. I just like to make people laugh. End of story. Mary Kate and Ashley, blog audiences are hard to please!

So, I've decided that I am going to try my hand at improv comedy. That's right, kids. Momma's workin hard for her money, so hard for it honey. I do it anyway without an audience, so I figure why not add legions of adoring fans? And I'm not gonna front, the classes be expensive, girl! But that won't stop me cause I'm pretty sure that Jesus is a Groundling alumni so he can probably find a way to get me in. Hey, it's all about who you know in this business.

the play's the thing

I believe Bill Shakespeare when he told the world that it was a stage. The older I get the more I realize that his thoughts, unlike his initials, were not BS at all. I try to look at the world through his words, treating everyone I meet (man or woman) as an actor, a “player,” if you will. (PS – and in Los Angeles that’s not at all hard to do considering that most people actually are actors). Ponder, for a moment, this treat-let from AS YOU LIKE IT:

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,

I learned to recite this passage (actually, the passage in its entirety) at the ripe old age of, oh, let’s say 12. I even made the aforementioned my “senior quote” in the high school yearbook, so you know it’s been floating around on and off in my head for quite some time. The words are fairly simple, but the idea is pretty big stuff. “And one man in his time plays many parts” – that says a lot to me. What, you may ask? Lemme ‘splain…

In short: this passage, to me, takes a lot of pressure off of livin.’ Really. If all that this world amounts to is one giant stage on which we, through our lifetime, will play MANY parts, then I better get to some auditions fast! It’s all just one big show. The curtain rises at our birth and falls at our death and there’s a brief intermission somewhere there in the middle that for each of us is different. Some people consider their intermission a mid-life crisis. They come back to the theatre after going to pee and they’ve got a new sports car. Others take their intermission a little later, after retirement, using it as a time to “go outside and get some fresh air.”

Now let me clear up one thing real quick: the “many parts” bit doesn’t mean that we are all going around playing “characters,” per se. These “parts” that Bill (and I) speak of here are the natural progressions of who we are (or become) at different stages in our lives, mostly thanks to natural aging and/or the experiences we have along the way. These are parts we are "type cast" for, not the long shots.

I do agree that there are, though, definitely times where the costumes we don or the lines that we read are not entirely of our own choosing. Sometimes we even try to steal the limelight, knowing full and well that it's not our time to have the lead but wanting it so badly we can taste it. And sometimes we do forget that we're playing a part and get so wrapped up in it that we forget who we are outside of the theatre doors. But it makes sense that if the audience loves it, you’ll milk whatever character you can for all it’s worth. That's why I think some people are so unhappy. They start making a lot of money or start gaining some sort of fame and they feel like the only way to stay on the up is to play that character, whoever he or she is, for as long as they can. Some people just refuse to "grow up" or "move on" to the next Act. You've just got to. It's all metaphorical really and I'm sure that my thoughts here are not coming across as coherent and cohesive as I would have hoped. I'm forgetting my lines...

I always like to play the lead, I know that for sure. I'm very aware of what play I'm in at all times. Right now, for instance, I'm in a show that's sweeping the Great White Way entitled Chained to a Desk: The Assistant's Story. It's a real tear-jerker filled with monster diva ballads like "My Eyes Burn from this Computer" and "Papercut: Infection." You should get tix.

I guess I'm more rambling now, as my mind is being diverted. My director is yelling something to me from offstage. I better take my bow soon.

At any rate, next time you get a chance to stop and look around you just think about what old Bill said. Who's show are you watching? Or, perhaps more importantly, what part are you playing in it?

the art of the unseen

Tonight I went to a movie that got me thinking: the imagination is a crazy thing. Allow me to explain...

I went to see HARD CANDY, the movie about a 14 yrd old girl who meets up with a 32 yr old dude she befriends and flirts with in an online chatroom. Sounds like a lovely bedtime story, right? I can't really give anymore of the plot away, but I can tell you that things definitley go THRILLER on you! Well, anywho, the movie did make me think but not really at all about the disturbing subject matter. My mind pondered the way the movie was shot. It essentially takes places in one location, with 2 actors, in real time- not exactly the best formula for a thriller. But the movie WAS thrilling. How'd they pull that off? Well, the writing was pretty good and the acting was spot on but it was the directing and editing that made it a success. The director chose to shoot and edit the film using an age-old technique that would make even Alfred Hitchcock proud. Instead of showing the audience EVERYTHING, this movie left you to imagine what you WOULD see if you could. Why show us the monster when it's going to be 10x scarier in our minds? Here's where M. Night Shyamalan failed in SIGNS - he showed us the alien. Bad move, man. HARD CANDY capitalized on this technique and kept making you think you were about to see something bad or gross or disturbing but would never actually go there. You'd be teased, for sure, but were never allowed to see the "scary" parts of the film (although you saw them all too vividly in your own head).

So, this is just a note to all you filmmakers out there (ok, more like to myself): the imagination is a powerful thing. Don't underestimate it. Use it to your advantage. Your audience can make your movie so much better just by what their own imagination can bring to your film.

Cheers.

carpe diem

It only happens to me every once and a while but when it does, I become changed. About a week ago, I was sitting at my desk and had a total revelatory moment. Why have I allowed myself to wallow in something that I have the power to change? It was very Dead Poet's Society, sitting there having the desire to stand up on top of my desk and scream SEIZE THE DAY!

The basic epiphany boiled down to this: There's no reason to be unhappy if you don't have to be. With that simple thought, I made a decision that, while not easy, was right and true and honest. I'm still in the middle of figuring out the logistics of how to bring change into my life, but at least I know that where I'm going is a place of passion.

So, for all your artists out there, or anyone who feels trapped for that matter, I charge you to make a change. God has his hand in all of this so who are we to worry about what is to come? He knows our hearts more intimately than we do and He will protect us if we seek Him first and answer to our calling - whatever that may be.

I created this blog in order to make a public declaration that I am committed to following my true passions and loves, doing everything in love and trusting God's plan for me.

If you're worried that every post will be this heavy and deep, don't. I just had to get that out there. This is a place where, as my heading states, I will discuss all things artsy - from movies, to tv, to photography, to books and mags (yes, even Us Weekly). It's a commentary on creation in all forms.